oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My liver just had a heart attack.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
