dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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