took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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