Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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