I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
