all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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