how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
