You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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