There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
