somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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