Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Too much gin, very little bucket
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let's get the cat blown out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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