so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
is it fun? or sober?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize