It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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