So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
