how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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