Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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