I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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