Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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