need another drink. this is the easiest way
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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