My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this boner is exhausting
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
