the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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