they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
