3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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