Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
