If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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