3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
