thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
