Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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