I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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