You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
