Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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