Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
