Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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