I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
