Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Betty ford says i'm here all night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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