You really coming over, don't trick.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
