His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
