oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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