she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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