After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize