dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
