My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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