called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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