HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
