omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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