you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
