So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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