Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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