You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
