You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
