Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
