To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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