I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
