I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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