I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're like the curious george of whores
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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