it was like his penis was on wheels.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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