He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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