he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
