Nicole vs. Life
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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