Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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