I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize