im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
