i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
