forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
