I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize